November Recap

I'd planned a really great Thanksgiving recap with really great pictures. We spent Thanksgiving Day with Wesley's family. It was a great day and my BIL, Matt documented the entire day with amazing pictures! I could wait to share them here and asked Matt to burn the pictures on CD for me. Well as I sat down tonight all ready to get it done, but I discovered that most of the pictures are not on the CD!!!! There's only a couple on there. I don't know what happened, but I'm very disappointed. I'll ask him to try again and maybe I can share them later.

We were also able to get some time in with my family on Friday and Saturday after Thanksgiving. I wish I could blame someone else for not having great pictures of our time with them, but I must take responsibility for that myself. :-) I did not really take any pictures. I guess I could give an excuse. Anyone whose done it knows that it isn't easy keeping up with 4 little ones especially when you are away from your own home. Plus, Bella Peace ended up having an ear infection and running a high fever most of the weekend. There, that's my excuse!

So instead of a great Thanksgiving recap with great pictures, I think I will recap our November just a little bit. I've really not planned this out in my head, so I must warn you it's likely to be a little random and all over the place.

November has been much better for me. Since May, I've been struggling with depression off and on. It's definitely been a roller coaster of emotions. One minute I'm up and the next I am very, very down. I'm been up a lot more than down this past month. I'm very grateful for that. I expected this month to be really, really hard, because this is the month Joshua should have been born. Interestingly enough, the things that you expect to knock the wind right out of you are often not so bad. It's the things that blind side you like stumbling onto your maternity clothes that really pack a punch.

If you've read my blog much, you know that my number one way of coping is by being busy. I've said before I don't recommend this, but it seems to be my default. I've definitely been very busy this month. I'm really starting to feel a call to "be still". I just don't know how to do that. Don't get me wrong, I am very much a sluggard and struggle with idleness/laziness while be being busy at the same time. I'm sure you are saying to yourself, "what, how can that be?" But just trust me, it's true. (Would someone please just let me know you get that!) I guess it's just that I'm often busy with the wrong things. I know God wants me to lay down some of these things and let Him take over. I tell you the truth, I just down know how to do that. I want to. I really do. I long for a deeper relationship with the Lord. I want to know Him more. I want to trust Him more. I want to love Him more and to be complete and satisfied with Him and Him alone. But I struggle, I stress, I make my own plans, I try to carry them out in my own strength, I worry, I want what I want, I always look for an answer, try to figure it all out, etc. I feel like a hamster on a wheel. Really, I do! Well not sure to transition from here, so...

Warning, awkward transition ahead...

A few other things that have helped me through this month have been some amazing new devotionals I've been reading. A friend sent me three books and another friend recommended one. All of them contain just short daily devotions, but I'm amazed as it seems every little devotion I read just meets me right where I'm at.

Another big thing happening in my life right now is that God has placed me in a position to minister and encourage someone else. (I know, absolutely crazy after what I wrote earlier!) I guess I have little chances all the time, but this is something big and hits right next to the hole in my own heart. I can hardly believe He would put me in a position to minister to anyone else. Most of the time I feel so weak. But I know that I am only able, because He is equipping me. It's not me, it's Him working through me. While I wish my friend were not on this journey, having the privilege to encourage someone else has really blessed me. It's absolutely heart breaking to walk this road with her, but I feel because of my experiences (although different) I am able to support and encourage her. I guess it just helps me to see how God can be glorified through our painful experiences. Hopefully my heart on this is coming across. If you are interested in knowing more about my friend, she has just started her own blog, http://michellekarr.blogspot.com

Other stuff that just that made November fun (but busy) included a short little trip to a friends lake house the end of October and first couple of days in November, Wesley took a few days of work, Wesley and I got a couple days together by ourselves, a fun homeschool picnic, a Veterans Day parade, several dentist appointments (we actually like these), some individual Daddy time for each child, a day trip to go shopping with my Bible study girls (which for me began with me getting up at 4:30 AM and ended when I went to bed at 1:30 AM the next day), the company of good friends, and visiting with a lot of family over Thanksgiving, just to mention a few highlights! Are you tired yet?

Thanks for reading. Like I said, random and all over the place. Please feel free to share your thought and comments. I'd love to know you stopped by. And since you stuck with me through this entire post, here's a little something to make you smile.