House, Burn, and Baby Update

First let me say that recently I read some tips on being a good blogger, not because I really care to be a "good blogger" but because I found it interesting. Turns out, I'm not a very good blogger according to that article. I fail to write on a consistent basis, I often leave my readers hanging, my post are way too long, and I don't post enough pictures, among other things. However this truly does not bother me. The article went on to talk about who your audience was or who you desired your audience to be. I like that a few people read, but really, really, I'm ultimately writing so that one day I can look back and remember. So for those few who chose to stick around, thank you for reading in spite of the fact that I'm not a good blogger. Ultimately I really desire to be remembered because of so many more things than whether or not I was a good blogger.



I'm going to go ahead up front and say, no pictures tonight. If you came for pictures which I do admit are the best part, then you may as well go ahead and click on the "x" in the top right corner. I have been TERRIBLE at taking pictures lately!!



Tonight I really want to just make a couple quick updates and share my heart just a little bit.



First, the house. We have had a set back (like the fact that I've been very sick with what some call morning sickness but has really been more like all day and all night sickness) so we did not get it on the market in the time we planned. Someone asked here on the blog if we loved our home so much why not just stay and build on. Actually this is something that we've very much considered, however selling would give us an opportunity to move closer to town, to church, to Wesley's work, and would reduce our travel time when we go visit out of town family. When we purchased our current house, we lived about 15 minutes from where Wesley worked. Last year he was relocated and now moving would save us a ton of time and gas money. However I half to say that with the possibly of selling being more real that ever, I have wavered and we have revisited the idea of staying and making more space here. It's a very, very tough decision and there are so many factors involved. The market is bad and we will not get the money for our house now that we would have gotten a few years ago. Also I'm a little, no a lot scared of being in more house debt. Regardless our projects must be finished, so we will keep chipping away at them and praying for wisdom as we go.



Next, Bella Peace's burn. I can't lie. I think it looks terrible, but my more knowledgeable husband assures me that it doesn't look that bad and that it's healing great!! We had to keep it bandaged for exactly one week before the skin was scabbed enough to be left un-bandaged without too much risk of infection. So now it's scabbed up. The sad thing to me is that the scab is well below the rest of her healthy skin which is just an indication of how deep it is. She's using that hand more and more. It's still tender and sometimes if it gets bumped she will moan or let us know that it hurt. We keep it clean and still apply the cream to it a couple of times a day. It's definitely going to be a while until it's completely healed, but I know that Wesley is right and it is getting better.



Finally, a LONG overdue baby update. I announced a while back that we were expecting again. I know that I've never posted the rest of the story and I still plan too, because I really want to record how we found out and all those details. I've been pregnant so many times that if I don't write it all down I'm likely not to remember and I so LOVE looking back at our pregnancies, the details, the ups and downs, and the birth stories for our precious babies! So tonight I'm just going to post where I'm at right now and I will definitely come back and post the rest of the story some other time. I'm about 11 or 12 weeks. My next doctor's appointment is tomorrow. I've been sick a lot this time, but as I recall it's pretty much just like it was with Elizabeth. AND right now I'm pretty anxious about everything. I've had 3 second trimester miscarriages and at least 1 early 1st trimester miscarriage. We know that all three of my second trimester miscarriages were baby boys - Samuel, Isaiah, and Joshua. It is quite possible that something is occurring when I am pregnant with boys, but we have not yet been able to medically pinpoint what it is that is happening. It's very scary to me to be on the heals of my 2nd trimester knowing my history. I've re-visited my own medical research and plan to go into my appointment tomorrow with some of my same questions from the past and some new ones. I really want to know if there is anything else we can do to protect our baby if it is indeed a boy. Should I be doing anything else? Anything differently?



Please don't judge me, but if I'm being totally honest I have to admit that my attitude about being sick so much as not been pretty. I had a hard time appreciating the fact that I am pregnant even though I desire SO MUCH for all to go well. I know that being sick is a good indication of high hormone levels and a healthy pregnancy, but still I've been grumbly and complainy (yes I know that these are not real words). I know that I need to be grateful. Almost every night I fall into bed sorry for my attitude and behavior and BEG the Lord to change my heart and to give me a healthy baby in spite of my lack of gratitude. I'm thrilled about another baby. Our whole family is. I know that Elizabeth will be excited too. She LOVES babies and even plays so sweet with baby dolls. I'm just not coping well with being so tired and sick. It all boils down to a lack of gratitude, and I'm working on it. Maybe admitting it here and writing out my thoughts will be therapeutic. I find that writing often is therapeutic for me. I already LOVE this baby so much. I feel such a bond already. OH, how I want this baby to be mine here on Earth!!



I have hopes and plans for so many blog posts and I really hope to give an update tomorrow after my doctor's appointment. Thanks for reading, and please pray for all to be well with our newest member!!