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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Has it really been 2 weeks since I last posted?



Well as of tomorrow, yes it has been 2 weeks since I last posted. And well over a month since I last posted pictures of my super adorable, amazing children! The really sad part is I really haven't even been taking many pictures. It's not because I don't have picture worthy children and post worthy material. Oh, no!! We have plenty of that. I just haven't been able to find/make the time especially in light of the fact that I'm still dealing with some nausea. As of about a week or so ago, I thought it was over. I hit the 2nd trimester and suddenly, instantly began to feel much better. BUT then it started coming and going. It's definitely better than it was, but I'm still having quite a few occasions of it. And it's miserable!!



Today I am 14 weeks. I'm definitely anxious. I try not to obsess and to give it all over to the Lord, but....well I'm sure that as you might imagine, I'm not always successful at that.



Tomorrow I go to the doctor for an ultrasound and check up. Excited and anxious at the same time about that. Even if I wasn't still dealing with nausea, right now my appointments give me a sick to my stomach feeling. Gone are the giggly days of looking forward to ultrasounds so that I can find out my baby's gender. Ultrasounds are heavy now.



Sorry if I sound all doom and gloom. That really is not my intention. And it really does not accurately describe how I'm currently feeling. Just sharing a little right now.



I have a very busy day tomorrow. My appointment is in the afternoon and after that I will be away from my computer until late. I will post an update, but it will most likely be late in the evening before I get the opportunity.



OK, on to other topics. There is no hope for me to fully catch up the ole blog - NOT EVER, but I thought it would be fun to share a few cute pictures. Mostly from today. And to share the greatest thing about my day today. I'll get to that in a minute. First I will back up and tell a little about today.



I've felt terrible today. We've managed, but much of the day has been very forced. School consisted of a lot of reading, because I can lay on the couch and read. BUT I really enjoyed that and so did the kiddos. It's so fun to see them hanging on my words, anticipating what will happen next. It's also fun to have one of them curl up next to me and READ TO ME. That happened a lot today also. So fun. The best part of that is that Mary Ruth is beginning to read so well. She's reading really simple books, but she's so excited to be reading.



OK now I will tell you about the very best part of my day today. At the end of the day, tucking the kids into bed, I'm feeling pretty lousy about the day. Feeling like I coulda shoulda done more. Fed them better. Gotta off the couch a bit more. Feeling like I'm not "mothering" them well enough these days. Wesley was working late. Everyone had their baths, teeth were brushed. We did a little devotion together and I sent everyone off for one final potty trip and then straight to their beds. I followed behind to tuck them in and to hug and kiss each of them again. As I'm tucking Grace in, she reaches up, puts her hands around my neck, pulls me really close, and says, "Mommy I love you so much I can't even explain it." Awwwwwwwww, "Thank you, Lord!! That was just what I needed to hear!"



Upon realizing that today was the last day of August, I did make a big effort to take some pictures. It's really one of the only times I've taken pictures this whole month. OK in purely random order, here they are! Yay, Pictures!!



Grace and her puppy





The big kids after church a few weeks ago. The girls rarely want to wear big bows anymore. Makes me so very sad. :(





Mary Ruth sporting a GREAT smile





Bella Peace posing for the camera, notice the cast on her arm. Yep, she broke her arm last Friday night. Details another time.





Luke giving E a ride. Notice the big girls in the background with the puppy. They LOVE that puppy so much!





Elizabeth LOVES to be outside.





Luke reading to Bella Peace today. This brings such a smile to my face!!





Loading these pictures, I realized that I did make it off of the couch a little more than I realized today. Yay, Me!!



Thursday, August 18, 2011

12 weeks 1 day

Today's appointment went well. Heartrate was 170. My due date is Leap Day - February 29, 2012. While that's a fun due date, I surely hope Baby won't make his/her debut on that day. I would rather have a date that occurs every year, but hey I guess as long as Baby and Mommy are healthy I'll take what ever I get!!



I'm still very anxious, but I don't have the time nor do I feel much like writing about why right now. I talked a lot with Dr. C about what we might could do differently considering my history. The short answer is what I really already knew...nothing. Nothing that is but pray and wait and trust that the Lord is good all the time. All the time HE is good!!



I will say that right now everything looks PICTURE PERFECT!!!! And because of that I will rejoice and be thankful.



Wanna see?





Baby Minor #10 at 12 weeks 1 day



Can you see that perfect profile and perfect little body with little arms and legs already?!! Fearfully, wonderfully, perfectly made!!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

House, Burn, and Baby Update

First let me say that recently I read some tips on being a good blogger, not because I really care to be a "good blogger" but because I found it interesting. Turns out, I'm not a very good blogger according to that article. I fail to write on a consistent basis, I often leave my readers hanging, my post are way too long, and I don't post enough pictures, among other things. However this truly does not bother me. The article went on to talk about who your audience was or who you desired your audience to be. I like that a few people read, but really, really, I'm ultimately writing so that one day I can look back and remember. So for those few who chose to stick around, thank you for reading in spite of the fact that I'm not a good blogger. Ultimately I really desire to be remembered because of so many more things than whether or not I was a good blogger.



I'm going to go ahead up front and say, no pictures tonight. If you came for pictures which I do admit are the best part, then you may as well go ahead and click on the "x" in the top right corner. I have been TERRIBLE at taking pictures lately!!



Tonight I really want to just make a couple quick updates and share my heart just a little bit.



First, the house. We have had a set back (like the fact that I've been very sick with what some call morning sickness but has really been more like all day and all night sickness) so we did not get it on the market in the time we planned. Someone asked here on the blog if we loved our home so much why not just stay and build on. Actually this is something that we've very much considered, however selling would give us an opportunity to move closer to town, to church, to Wesley's work, and would reduce our travel time when we go visit out of town family. When we purchased our current house, we lived about 15 minutes from where Wesley worked. Last year he was relocated and now moving would save us a ton of time and gas money. However I half to say that with the possibly of selling being more real that ever, I have wavered and we have revisited the idea of staying and making more space here. It's a very, very tough decision and there are so many factors involved. The market is bad and we will not get the money for our house now that we would have gotten a few years ago. Also I'm a little, no a lot scared of being in more house debt. Regardless our projects must be finished, so we will keep chipping away at them and praying for wisdom as we go.



Next, Bella Peace's burn. I can't lie. I think it looks terrible, but my more knowledgeable husband assures me that it doesn't look that bad and that it's healing great!! We had to keep it bandaged for exactly one week before the skin was scabbed enough to be left un-bandaged without too much risk of infection. So now it's scabbed up. The sad thing to me is that the scab is well below the rest of her healthy skin which is just an indication of how deep it is. She's using that hand more and more. It's still tender and sometimes if it gets bumped she will moan or let us know that it hurt. We keep it clean and still apply the cream to it a couple of times a day. It's definitely going to be a while until it's completely healed, but I know that Wesley is right and it is getting better.



Finally, a LONG overdue baby update. I announced a while back that we were expecting again. I know that I've never posted the rest of the story and I still plan too, because I really want to record how we found out and all those details. I've been pregnant so many times that if I don't write it all down I'm likely not to remember and I so LOVE looking back at our pregnancies, the details, the ups and downs, and the birth stories for our precious babies! So tonight I'm just going to post where I'm at right now and I will definitely come back and post the rest of the story some other time. I'm about 11 or 12 weeks. My next doctor's appointment is tomorrow. I've been sick a lot this time, but as I recall it's pretty much just like it was with Elizabeth. AND right now I'm pretty anxious about everything. I've had 3 second trimester miscarriages and at least 1 early 1st trimester miscarriage. We know that all three of my second trimester miscarriages were baby boys - Samuel, Isaiah, and Joshua. It is quite possible that something is occurring when I am pregnant with boys, but we have not yet been able to medically pinpoint what it is that is happening. It's very scary to me to be on the heals of my 2nd trimester knowing my history. I've re-visited my own medical research and plan to go into my appointment tomorrow with some of my same questions from the past and some new ones. I really want to know if there is anything else we can do to protect our baby if it is indeed a boy. Should I be doing anything else? Anything differently?



Please don't judge me, but if I'm being totally honest I have to admit that my attitude about being sick so much as not been pretty. I had a hard time appreciating the fact that I am pregnant even though I desire SO MUCH for all to go well. I know that being sick is a good indication of high hormone levels and a healthy pregnancy, but still I've been grumbly and complainy (yes I know that these are not real words). I know that I need to be grateful. Almost every night I fall into bed sorry for my attitude and behavior and BEG the Lord to change my heart and to give me a healthy baby in spite of my lack of gratitude. I'm thrilled about another baby. Our whole family is. I know that Elizabeth will be excited too. She LOVES babies and even plays so sweet with baby dolls. I'm just not coping well with being so tired and sick. It all boils down to a lack of gratitude, and I'm working on it. Maybe admitting it here and writing out my thoughts will be therapeutic. I find that writing often is therapeutic for me. I already LOVE this baby so much. I feel such a bond already. OH, how I want this baby to be mine here on Earth!!



I have hopes and plans for so many blog posts and I really hope to give an update tomorrow after my doctor's appointment. Thanks for reading, and please pray for all to be well with our newest member!!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Burn Update

WARNING!!! I have included pictures. I know some do not like seeing this sort of thing you.



First let me say that Bella Peace's burn looked better than I expected today when the doctor unwrapped it. We had not seen it since we wrapped it very shortly after the burn occurred yesterday. I don't know what I was expecting, but it looked better somehow.



The doctor said that it should heal up fine on it's own. There was no more mention of therapy at all. Because of the specific location of the burn, it should just heal fine on it's on. If it had to happen, at least it wasn't her fingertips or palm. I'm told that those areas are way worst because they are way more sensitive. Anyway, we will keep it covered, keep it clean, change out the bandages twice a day, and cake on some silver sulfadiazine creme until the skin begins to heal a bit. Right now the burned area is covered by a huge water blister which is actually a good thing, because there is less risk of infection since the skin is not open. At some point the blister will burst and we will need to remove the dead skin and be even more careful to prevent infection.



Bella Peace is still being a total trooper! She's not been complaining about it at all. She's so very tough!!



As far as Wesley, he really, really is totally fine! Tonight he handled the bandage change with no problems!



I took the pictures below when we took off her bandages tonight. There is still a little creme left on it from her bandage change at the doctors office. The creme plus the lighting plus the fact that it's hard to see dimension in pictures makes it a little difficult to really see the full effect, but you kind of get the idea.











Nasty, huh?!!



Notice the blue from markers you see on her other fingers and her dirty little finger nails. This little girl is not missing a thing...bandage or not, she just keeps going!



I meant to ask the doctor what degree of burn this was just because I'm curious like that, but I forgot and he did not say. Just in case I'm not the only curious one, Wesley believes it's most likely 2nd degree burn.



Thanks for all the concern and sweet words!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Scariest 5 Minutes of My Life

Yes, the scariest 5 minutes of my life occurred this morning!! For those of you who hate the long version, I will give you the very quick version first.

Bella Peace touched my very hot iron with her hand resulting in a very bad burn. AND while Wesley was evaluating her wound, he passed out!! Everyone is going to be OK.

Now for those like me who need details, here's the rest of the story.

Our family irons. I've been known to iron jeans and t-shirts - not so recently, but my point is that I like neatly pressed clothes. I have a VERY good professional quality iron that I received as a gift many years ago. I say this just to let you know that our iron gets really hot. I mean really, really hot. If like me you like neatly pressed clothing, a Rowenta is the only way to go. It's not your $20 iron from Wal-Mart. Anyway, pretty much very Sunday morning involves some ironing. Wesley learned to iron very well in college when he had to regularly iron his band uniform (plus he was raised right, by a mother who only had sons, and taught her sons how to take care of themselves) So we both iron. Just depends on whose able to when it needs to be done. We typically set the ironing board up right next to the kitchen counter, and we iron as the kiddos are finishing breakfast. (I told you this was the long version. The details are important to me!!) :)

This morning, I was actually going to make it to church after a pretty miserable week of pregnancy related sickness. Wesley had delivered the paper very early this morning, came home, had breakfast, and went back to bed to get a little nap in before church. I ironed everyone's clothes that needed it but my own. Then I placed the still on, still very hot iron, far back on the kitchen counter facing the wall, and left the ironing board blocking the counter top. When I walked away, no one is anywhere near the iron. Not even in the same room. I think I remember yelling over my shoulder like WE ALWAYS DO, "The iron is hot, stay away from it." In reflection that was probably Bella Peace's cue to seize her moment. I went to get my clothes from my bedroom and that's when I heard a noise followed by the sound of Bella Peace crying. I think I knew immediately that she had touched the iron. Bella Peace had asked me when I was ironing if she could "touch the button that made smoke". I said no. I ran in the kitchen and sure enough she was dancing around holding her hand and crying. She had moved the ironing board over and put a stool up to the counter so that she could push the steam button on the iron and "make smoke." I think that her stretching and trying to reach the iron so far back contributed to it tipping over and touching her hand. The iron was laid down on it's side. Not hot side down, but on it's side.

I could tell it was a pretty serious burn immediately. Luke, Grace, and Mary Ruth came rushing over and instantly started hysterically crying at the sight of it. Elizabeth was sitting in the living room floor playing with toys, and all the crying must have scared her because she started to cry too. I scooped Bella Peace up in my arms and ran into our bedroom calling for Wesley to get up and take a look. He immediately sprung straight out of bed onto his feet and took her from me. He ran into our bathroom to run cold water on it. He immediately started telling me and the other kiddos that she was going to be OK. I was very upset, but I was completely under control - just concerned, worried, and already feeling guilty that this had happened. I left Wesley in the bathroom with Bella Peace and led the other kiddos to the living room to try to calm everyone down. I hugged them all and assured them that she was going to be OK. Then I picked up Elizabeth who was screaming her head off. That's when I heard Bella Peace's cry change from the "I'm in pain and hurting cry" to the "uncontrollable, hysterical cry". I told everyone to stay put and I went to see what was going on with Elizabeth on my hip. The next sight I saw was truly the scariest thing I've ever witnessed and to be honest I'm still pretty traumatized over it. Bella Peace was seated on out bathroom counter with her hand still in running water looking down at her Daddy who was laying in a leap in the bathroom floor. I streamed and practically tossed Elizabeth down in the bedroom floor and rushed over to Wesley. He did not look good. I think I was saying "OH, NO!! OH, NO!!" and yelling his name. I thought he was having a seizure, because his eyelids were half opened and his eyeballs were rolled back into this head. It was so horrible!! I started trying to stretch him out and lay him down, but I was struggling because he's so much bigger than me, he was in a very awkward position, and the space was tight. I yelled for Luke to call 911 and to bring me the phone. I was pulling on Wesley and yelling at him to tell me what was wrong. For what seemed like F-O-R-E-V-E-R he did not respond at all. I was so scared!! It was probably really only 30 seconds to a minute at most, but then he started to wake. He was completely disoriented at first. Then he said, he thought that he had gotten light headed and passed out. I could hear Luke in the other room crying and talking to the 911 operator. I told Wesley that an ambulance was on the way, but he began to get up and insisted that he was fine and that we did not need an ambulance. I did not fully trust him at that moment, but I did get on the phone and told the 911 operator that at the moment I thought we were OK and asked her to cancel the ambulance for the time. I was also still very concerned about Bella Peace who was still crying hysterically. At some point, I had moved her from the bathroom to my bed. I helped Wesley to our bed to lay down. He said he was still light headed, but that he was completely OK. He told me that he remembered feeling light headed and queasy. He felt like he was going to pass out so he had braced himself and propped up on the bathroom counter. He said it all happened very fast. The next thing he remembered was waking to chaos and crying. He says he thinks it was a combination of jerking up quickly from bed and seeing the badly burned hand of his own little girl that just did him in. At this point he still looked terrible.

All the kids were completely ready for church. They had calmed down some, but were still in a bit of a panic. I asked Grace to make sure we had what we needed in the diaper bag, and I told everyone to go wait by the door while I finished getting everything together so that we could take Bella Peace and Daddy to the ER. Wesley and I were the only ones not yet fully ready to leave for church. I quickly got out of my PJs and dressed in some casual clothes and told Wesley to do the same. He kept assuring me that no one needed to go to the ER. He said that we could do at home what the ER was going to do for Bella Peace and insisted that he did not need to go to the hospital. He suggested that if I insisted on taking Bella Peace he would just stay home with the other kiddos. I told him there was no way I was leaving him at home. I was still so worried about him. I did start to calm down and think maybe we did not need to go to the ER. I could tell that Wesley was indeed improving and what he was saying sounded reasonable. I decided to call our very good friend and pediatrician to ask his advice on the Bella Peace, and he actually said the same thing Wesley said. There's not much they do for a burn like that. He told us to coat it with antibiotic ointment, to wrap it, and to bring her into his office tomorrow. Depending on how bad it actually is, she may require some further treatment which could include physical therapy. Wesley feels pretty sure that it's not that bad.

I have to say that the fact that Wesley passed out, completely blows my mind!! In case anyone reading doesn't know or has forgotten, Wesley is an athletic trainer. His work is in the medical field. A huge part of his job includes providing first response assistance to sports related injuries. He sees and has seen all kind of injuries and has even been present in an OR to observe surgeries. SOOO, I just can't believe he passed out!! I guess when it was his own little girl it was totally different. AND like he said, springing from sleep to wide away and looking at that kind of injury on one of his babies did not help!

Even though I was extremely concerned about Bella Peace, I was in shock, terrified, and scared to death when I saw Wesley on the floor. I thought something so serious was wrong! I immediately thought about the heart problem that he experienced just one year ago this month. I thought about the fact that the doctors had said he was completely healed and would never again have problems because of that condition. I thought maybe they were wrong. Maybe he was having a seizure. Maybe a heart attack. I thought, "I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU AND YOU HAVE TO BE OK!!" I know that all this may sound a bit dramatic. BUT it was indeed very dramatic.

And as suddenly as it all began, it all seemed to calm. Wesley (while seated) medicated and wrapped Bella Peace's hand. We gave her ibuprofen and a heaping bowl of ice cream with sprinkles for pain. She stopped crying. Wesley went back to finish his nap. We had all the other kiddos change out of their church clothes into casual clothes. We also calmed them all with a bowl of ice cream. I put Elizabeth down for a nap. Then we put on a family movie, and I claimed a spot in the recliner to reflect and PRAISE THE LORD that my husband was still with me and my very curious, adventurous one would recover and hopefully heed mommy's instructions a little better in the future.

We've always been careful with the iron. We've also always warned the children that is hot and dangerous and they should never touch it! I felt like I was careful today. But now I'm thinking not careful enough. Yes, I'm dealing with a little bit of guilt. I know that in a million years, the oldest three would have never touched that iron. BUT if someone has asked me before this happened if Bella Peace would try to touch a not iron, I also know that my answer would have been yes. Yes, Bella Peace is the one that fears nothing. I know that. So I can't count on her always making the right decision and obeying right now. She's 3. I pray that the day will come when she will listen and obey. BUT, right now I KNOW her. I should have considered that when I left the iron still on and still hot and left the room. I know that we will be more careful. I also know that this is an unfortunate but very good teaching opportunity.

I also want to say that I'm SO proud of my 3 big kids! They showed such great concern and compassion for their sister today. They were also very responsible and mature when I asked something of them. They actually did not know that their Daddy had passed out until much later. They all just thought that I screamed over Bella Peace. I'm so glad that they did not know and especially glad that they did not see Wesley the way I did. Luke did just what I told him and called 911 and was handling the call quite well when I took over. When I told Grace to check the diaper bag for us, she sprang into action, packing the bag perfectly. She had actually filled it very full and also grabbed a change of clothes for Bella Peace and said, "Mommy we just don't know how long we will be there or what all we will need so I packed lots of extras." What a big girl!!!! I hope that we never have another experience like this, but I'm so glad to see how everyone pulled together in a crisis. I'm so proud of my family and the love we share!!

**Note: I feel that I should add that Dr. Jeff (amazing, awesome family friend and pediatrician) did say that if we were not able to manage Bella Peace's pain that taking her to the ER would be a good idea, because they could give her RX pain meds. I would hate for someone else to be in this position and their child suffer more than necessary because they remembered that Jennifer said it's not necessary to go to the ER. Also if you did not feel confident or comfortable with wrapping the injury yourself, you should also go to the ER. Of course if something like this ever occurred, please consult your own pediatrician or family doctor. If this had happened on a weekday, we would have immediately gone to our pediatrician's office. I'm just sharing out experience, not giving advice! :) **

Monday, August 1, 2011

Our Home


August 5, 2002 Wesley and I submitted a contract to purchase our current home. I was expecting our first baby. For several months we've been very seriously considering selling. We've gone back and forth with this decision. A little over a month ago we decided to pray once more for a specify length of time and then make a final decision about whether or not to sell. We set a date and said, "We will make our decision by this date." On that specific date, we learned that I was pregnant again. The decision seemed obvious. Last week I contacted the realtor that we planned to use and we began discussing a day to meet and make it final. Without realizing the date, we decided to meet this coming Friday - the date - August 5, 2011. Exactly 9 years after signing a contract for purchase, pregnant then and pregnant now, we will be signing a contract with our realtor to try to sell. If I believed in coincidence, surely this one be one of those times.

This house has been our HOME. We LOVE it. We LOVE our yard, our street, our neighbors, oh especially our neighbors, and many other details. I LOVE that we live in a cul-de-sac on the friendliest kid street in America. I LOVE that we can walk through our backyard to a county park. We walk over and feed the ducks, fish, play on the playground, our just walk. It's wonderful!! Oh and our trees. I LOVE our trees! We live pretty far out and the drive is usually inconvenient, but it is a beautiful peaceful drive. Many conversations between me and the Lord have occured on this drive! Selling it will definitely be bittersweet. It is our first home. The first home for each of our 5 children. We've made such wonderful, beautiful memories in this home. We known GREAT JOY here! We've also made it through our hardest times here in this home. I'm reminded of the night that Wesley and I laid on our faces on our bedroom floor nearly all night long and prayed for a miracle after learning that we had most likely lost our sweet Baby Samuel at nearly 20 weeks. The next day we learned that we had indeed lost our Baby. He and 2 of our other children are buried in a cemetery that I can see from this neighborhood.

I'm not praying for the Lord to sell our home. In this market, I'm not sure that selling right now is for sure right. I do know that it's not a great time to sell in general. What will that mean for us? I'm not sure if it's the best time for us to buy a larger house with a larger mortgage. BUT, I do know that we have peace about giving it a try. We are praising God for this home that we've loved so well, and asking only that His will be done in regards to selling this one and getting into another one. We will be at peace either way. This home is small for a family our size. We could definitely make good use of more space, but really I cannot say that more space is for sure a need.

So this is it. Our fleece. Our house will be on the market as of Friday. If the Lord wants it to sell, it will. If after a few months it does not sell, we will gladly prepare to welcome a new member into this HOME FULL OF LOVE. Full and like the title of this blog "running over"!!


Do you see my sweeties playing on the grass? Did I mention I LOVE this house? Will you pray with us - for His perfect will?