**NOTE - Today is actually October 2, 2009. I wrote this on July 27, 2009 but never actually posted. I think I was going to add some more to it, but never got around to doing it. I've decided to post it now as is.**
It's really way too late for me to be up creating a new post, but I've been wanting to post for days now and can't seem to find the time. So, I doing it right now. I'm sure I will regret it in the morning when I am so tired.
This summer has been so busy for our family. It began with Luke's kindergarten graduation. I was looking forward to his graduation and to having a break from school. I had no idea what I was in for. It was less than two weeks after graduation that we found out we had lost our sweet Joshua. Intially I needed to be busy to cope. I would not do anything differently. We've enjoyed the many things that have made our summer busy. Thankfully though, I think that we are about to slow down. We've began school again. We are only doing school part time right now (meaning doing 2 or 3 days a week), but we are only 2 weeks away from getting back at it full-time. I've enjoyed getting back to school and so have the kiddos. We've been working on some really neat science projects that I will share about soon. We stick to a more structure schedule and get out less when doing school. While summer has been fun, I think this family needs to slow down!
We made a day trip to B'ham today (Sunday). Oak was dedicated in the evening service of his church tonight. Have I mentioned how much I love that little guy and his big sister! It was a great day. We enjoyed seeing Matt, Heather, Glory, Oak, and Wesley's parents.
Since my last post, I've had a couple of rough spots. This past week a few things did not go my way and it's been an emotional week. I've really struggled with missing my babies. Grief comes and goes and sometimes surprises you. Overall though, I doing well. I believe that God has allowed a great deal of healing to occur and maybe, just maybe, He could be revealing some of what the future holds for our family. I don't feel like sharing the details tonight. I will soon. But I believe He is answering my prayers, and I'm getting closer to "not my will, but yours Lord". I just wish this were not such a hard road sometimes. I wish growth and change could come easier. I'm tired of all the hard lessons that build my character. I know if I would just fix my eyes on Jesus and remain faithful to Him, to abide in Him, to rest in Him, to turn to Him first and not after all my other plans had failed it would be easier.
**This is how I left it on July 27, 2009.**
Quote
Monday, July 27, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Introducing the new man in my life...
This is the new little man in my life, Matthew "Oak" Minor. Named for this passage of scripture:
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; to appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness (other versions say "oaks of righteousness", see the reference to "Oak"), the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified. Isaiah 61:1-3
This little guy isn't so little! Looks like he going to be a mighty big oak!!
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; to appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness (other versions say "oaks of righteousness", see the reference to "Oak"), the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified. Isaiah 61:1-3
This little guy isn't so little! Looks like he going to be a mighty big oak!!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
IT'S A BOY!!!!
I'm was so surprised! I will write more later, but for now here's a new family picture.
Love,
Jennifer
Love,
Jennifer
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Just Another "Minor" Miracle
Although I've got lots of little stuff I want to write about in today, it will have to wait. I really want to get right to the point of today's post. Anyone who knows me well at all also knows of my brother-in-law Matt and his wife Heather. And you really don't have to know me much at all to know out their sweet daughter and my precious niece, Glory. A couple of post ago, I mentioned Matt and Heather and asked you all to pray about a potential adoption situation for them. Well, nothing ever happened with that situation. However, that could have been because God had something else in the works!
Matt and Heather found out 2 weeks ago that they will be parents again!! Through a set of God ordained miraculous circumstances, Matt and Heather will bring home a newborn baby next Tuesday!!! How's that for an answer to prayer!!!
Let me back up and tell the whole story...
Matt and Heather's journey to parenthood has been a long and hard one as they have struggled for years with infertility. The hurt has extended beyond the two of them and into the lives of so many who love them dearly. With aching arms and hurting hearts, they began to pray that God would show Himself in their family and that He would be glorified through their struggle and pain.
Two years ago, God answered that prayer in a mighty way. Matt and Heather decided to pursue adoption in December of 2006. They were told to expect the process to take some time. It's often years before parents are matched with a child. However Matt and Heather's time had come. There would be very little waiting for them. The agency they chose to go through has a very sophisticated process of matching families who wish to adopt with babies available for adoption. In addition to completing lots and lots of paperwork, the potential families create something called a profile which is somewhat of a scrapbook about themselves. After the agency determines possible matches, the birth mother is shown the profiles of the potential matches and selects the family she believes is right family to parent the child she is carrying. For Matt and Heather, on the very day their application was final and complete, their profile was matched with a birth mother (miracle - doesn't usually happened that fast) AND that birth mother chose them to parent the child she was carrying (another miracle - also doesn't typically happen the very first time shown). The baby was due to be born in less than two months. After years of waiting and longing, Matt and Heather were now on the fast, very fast, track to parenthood. Glory was born on June 24, 2007 and came to live with her forever family on July 13, 2007. She was appropriately named Glory, because God was indeed glorified through this process. The testimony that God has given Matt and Heather has greatly impacted the lives of many. God never forsakes us! He always has a perfect plan! Glory is beautiful and looks very much like Matt and Heather! She also as the sweetest little heart!
Desiring that Glory would have the blessing of a sibling and knowing the process usually takes some time, they decided to apply again before their application expired (meaning the entire process would have to begin again). Once again they were chosen in a miraculous set of circumstances to become the parents of a precious newborn. However that baby was not intended to be theirs. The birth mother changed her mind one day before her time was up to do so and decided to parent the child herself. It was a devastating loss for our entire family.
For me, at first it was hard to see God's hand in that situation. But now as I look back, I know that God was at work through it all. Matt and Heather loved (and still love) that young lady and the the child she is now parenting. They ministered to her in many ways. Matt and Heather both see adoption as a calling for their lives. Heather, especially, has such a heart for the birth mothers. She prays and loves these ladies the way we are called to love each other. I'm confident that the love they poured out on that birth mother and baby has made a permanent impact on their lives. I'm not sure how that will effect their future, but I know that Matt and Heather did their part. They loved her and gave her a glimpse at what a Godly family looks like. She has seen in them an example of what a life, marriage, and family can be through Christ. While knowing they were part of that divine plan, not bringing the baby home was still a very painful loss.
Another thing that came out of that loss was a stronger relationship between me and Heather. Because of my own losses, I was able to grieve with her and occasionally offer comfort. I began to pray that God would give them another baby. I prayed for God to give them a baby quickly. I specifically prayed that a baby would be born and the agency would not even contact Matt and Heather until the baby was for sure theirs. If I have my facts right, the birth mother has 6 days after signing all the legal documents to change her mind. I prayed that they would not have the anxiety of waiting for those days to pass. After feeling led to pray this way for them, I called to tell Heather of my new bold and specific prayer and she said that was her prayer also. The agency does sometimes handle adoptions this way, but Heather did not expect that this would ever be her case. SO, when she got a call just two weeks ago she was a little surprised to learn that this was exactly what had happened. My favorite part of all this is that their new baby was born June 24, 2009!!! Now notice when Glory was born!!! These two siblings share a birthday!!!!
I cannot wait to meet this baby! I get to do that on July 14, two years and 1 day from the day I met my precious first niece, Glory. My guess is that this baby is a girl. Matt and Heather know, but they are torturing the rest of us by making us wait until we meet the new little bundle. Why do I think it is a girl? Because I know that Matt and Heather would love for Glory to have a little sister. Of course, they would be happy with either gender, but I suspect that they just might have gotten their heart's desire for a baby girl.
God has done so may awesome things regarding these two adoptions and Matt and Heather's family. I have barely scratched the surface. Maybe I can get Heather to write a little post here on my blog herself about how the Lord has been faithful to her, what He has taught her, what she is still learning, and how she still struggles.
Personally, my faith has been increased by seeing God answer our prayers for this new baby so specifically. This "Minor" miracle is anything but minor. My specific prayer for our family is that God would fill the longing of mine and Wesley's heart and give us another baby in a miraculous way. I can't wait to journal through the journey of what God is doing in our "Minor" lives!!
As soon as I have met the newest "Minor" I will post all about it! I also promise to stop with all the "Minor" references! It was just a fun thing isolated to this post. On one final note if anyone wants to first hand participate in this miracle, Matt and Heather still have to come up with $9,000 more dollars for this adoption. I'm not exactly sure how long they have to come up with the money, but they are trying not to stress over this and to trust in God's provision. He was faithful in providing the funds they needed for Glory's adoption (a whole 'nother miraculous story). If you are interested in making a financial contribution to their adoption fund, please contact me. I will get you the information necessary to do that!
Stay tuned for the "Minor" details (last time, I promise)...
Matt and Heather found out 2 weeks ago that they will be parents again!! Through a set of God ordained miraculous circumstances, Matt and Heather will bring home a newborn baby next Tuesday!!! How's that for an answer to prayer!!!
Let me back up and tell the whole story...
Matt and Heather's journey to parenthood has been a long and hard one as they have struggled for years with infertility. The hurt has extended beyond the two of them and into the lives of so many who love them dearly. With aching arms and hurting hearts, they began to pray that God would show Himself in their family and that He would be glorified through their struggle and pain.
Two years ago, God answered that prayer in a mighty way. Matt and Heather decided to pursue adoption in December of 2006. They were told to expect the process to take some time. It's often years before parents are matched with a child. However Matt and Heather's time had come. There would be very little waiting for them. The agency they chose to go through has a very sophisticated process of matching families who wish to adopt with babies available for adoption. In addition to completing lots and lots of paperwork, the potential families create something called a profile which is somewhat of a scrapbook about themselves. After the agency determines possible matches, the birth mother is shown the profiles of the potential matches and selects the family she believes is right family to parent the child she is carrying. For Matt and Heather, on the very day their application was final and complete, their profile was matched with a birth mother (miracle - doesn't usually happened that fast) AND that birth mother chose them to parent the child she was carrying (another miracle - also doesn't typically happen the very first time shown). The baby was due to be born in less than two months. After years of waiting and longing, Matt and Heather were now on the fast, very fast, track to parenthood. Glory was born on June 24, 2007 and came to live with her forever family on July 13, 2007. She was appropriately named Glory, because God was indeed glorified through this process. The testimony that God has given Matt and Heather has greatly impacted the lives of many. God never forsakes us! He always has a perfect plan! Glory is beautiful and looks very much like Matt and Heather! She also as the sweetest little heart!
Desiring that Glory would have the blessing of a sibling and knowing the process usually takes some time, they decided to apply again before their application expired (meaning the entire process would have to begin again). Once again they were chosen in a miraculous set of circumstances to become the parents of a precious newborn. However that baby was not intended to be theirs. The birth mother changed her mind one day before her time was up to do so and decided to parent the child herself. It was a devastating loss for our entire family.
For me, at first it was hard to see God's hand in that situation. But now as I look back, I know that God was at work through it all. Matt and Heather loved (and still love) that young lady and the the child she is now parenting. They ministered to her in many ways. Matt and Heather both see adoption as a calling for their lives. Heather, especially, has such a heart for the birth mothers. She prays and loves these ladies the way we are called to love each other. I'm confident that the love they poured out on that birth mother and baby has made a permanent impact on their lives. I'm not sure how that will effect their future, but I know that Matt and Heather did their part. They loved her and gave her a glimpse at what a Godly family looks like. She has seen in them an example of what a life, marriage, and family can be through Christ. While knowing they were part of that divine plan, not bringing the baby home was still a very painful loss.
Another thing that came out of that loss was a stronger relationship between me and Heather. Because of my own losses, I was able to grieve with her and occasionally offer comfort. I began to pray that God would give them another baby. I prayed for God to give them a baby quickly. I specifically prayed that a baby would be born and the agency would not even contact Matt and Heather until the baby was for sure theirs. If I have my facts right, the birth mother has 6 days after signing all the legal documents to change her mind. I prayed that they would not have the anxiety of waiting for those days to pass. After feeling led to pray this way for them, I called to tell Heather of my new bold and specific prayer and she said that was her prayer also. The agency does sometimes handle adoptions this way, but Heather did not expect that this would ever be her case. SO, when she got a call just two weeks ago she was a little surprised to learn that this was exactly what had happened. My favorite part of all this is that their new baby was born June 24, 2009!!! Now notice when Glory was born!!! These two siblings share a birthday!!!!
I cannot wait to meet this baby! I get to do that on July 14, two years and 1 day from the day I met my precious first niece, Glory. My guess is that this baby is a girl. Matt and Heather know, but they are torturing the rest of us by making us wait until we meet the new little bundle. Why do I think it is a girl? Because I know that Matt and Heather would love for Glory to have a little sister. Of course, they would be happy with either gender, but I suspect that they just might have gotten their heart's desire for a baby girl.
God has done so may awesome things regarding these two adoptions and Matt and Heather's family. I have barely scratched the surface. Maybe I can get Heather to write a little post here on my blog herself about how the Lord has been faithful to her, what He has taught her, what she is still learning, and how she still struggles.
Personally, my faith has been increased by seeing God answer our prayers for this new baby so specifically. This "Minor" miracle is anything but minor. My specific prayer for our family is that God would fill the longing of mine and Wesley's heart and give us another baby in a miraculous way. I can't wait to journal through the journey of what God is doing in our "Minor" lives!!
As soon as I have met the newest "Minor" I will post all about it! I also promise to stop with all the "Minor" references! It was just a fun thing isolated to this post. On one final note if anyone wants to first hand participate in this miracle, Matt and Heather still have to come up with $9,000 more dollars for this adoption. I'm not exactly sure how long they have to come up with the money, but they are trying not to stress over this and to trust in God's provision. He was faithful in providing the funds they needed for Glory's adoption (a whole 'nother miraculous story). If you are interested in making a financial contribution to their adoption fund, please contact me. I will get you the information necessary to do that!
Stay tuned for the "Minor" details (last time, I promise)...
Friday, July 3, 2009
Results
Thanks to all of you who have contacted me this week asking about the results from the genetic testing done on Joshua. We did get the results this week. It was exactly as I had expected. In every way that it is possible for us to know, Joshua was completely healthy. The results indicated no genetic or chromosome abnormalities or defects, no syndromes, no anything. The placenta was also tested and no abnormalities were found in it either. What we can conclude from the ultrasounds, visually seeing Joshua, and now these results, is that the problem was not with Joshua. Whatever happened seems to have something to do with my body. We feel pretty confident that whatever happened with Joshua, it's the same thing that happened with Samuel and Isaiah too.
These results have caused me to ponder this: Ok, there's something wrong within me. But, regardless of that fact, God is in control and decided to call these babies home. He could have just as easily allow the babies to live, but choose (for reasons we don't fully understand) to take them. The fact that apparently there's something wrong with me really has nothing to do with it, but yet it does. Confusing? Yes. But I at the same time I get it. I think. I was talking about this with Wesley and after the end of a long series of these type statements and questions, he said, "Yes. Yes, but don't try to understand it. God is in control. God is sovereign."
So why am I looking for answers? I guess, because that is what we do. We obviously want to know if there is anything we can do, and want to make wise future decisions. We also want to know for the sake of our current children. If what ever is happening to me is going to effect them one day, it would be nice to know that in advance. Ultimately, we may never know. And, there may be nothing to correct. Of course, there was nothing we could have corrected with Samuel, Isaiah, or Joshua. God numbered their days. They would be here if it had been His plan. It was not His plan.
I know that no matter what we ever find out or what we don't find out, whether or not we have more children is all in His hands. We are pursuing medical answers, but we ultimately trust that God is in control. We will take any information we learn and pray and seek His will regarding our future decisions. Having said that, I believe I may have a rare condition where the antibodies in my body attack a male child. I've done lots of research on my own. It only occurs in women whose first pregnancy is with a male child. I discussed this with my doctor. He says he also thinks it could be a possibly, but says it's out of his field. He has suggested we see a reproductive endocrinologist for further testing and has referred us to Dr. Andrew Harper, here in Huntsville. If anyone knows anything about this doctor, please email me and let me know. I like to know a little something about a doctor before going. We currently have an appointment set up on Aug 3rd.
I still find it so hard to believe that this is happening to me. It's don't think, "oh, why me". I just never expected something like this happen to me. My plan was to have lots and lots of babies with no problems. Does anyone ever see something like this coming? I know a couple of folks that are always convinced that they either have cancer, a brain tumor, or something, or that they are going to have it someday. I usually think of these folks as nut cases! I think that generally people are surprised to learn they have something wrong within their body. I'm pretty sure Jeff was shocked and surprised a few years ago to learn that he had cancer. I know that it took Matt and Heather by surprised to discover that they may never have a biological child. It has stunned us all to hear about Janie's recent possible diagnosis of "MS". Why are we surprised? I know personally I take so much for granted in life. I go around making my plans all the time, and I expect that it's all going to go according to my plan. Here I am, once again, striving and desiring to be able to say, "Not my will, but Your will be done, O Lord!"
I feel like I've done a lot of rambling on and on in this post. I guess I'm trying to sort out things in my own head and taking anyone reading this post along with me. I think I will move on to less serious stuff for now.
To recap our last week, Wesley and I really enjoyed our weekend away. Luke, Grace, and Mary Ruth stayed at home. First with a family friend who came to sit with them on Friday and later by their Aunt Heather and Glory who stayed the weekend. Since Bella Peace requires more attention, we decided to let her stay with other great friends, the Benefields. We received good reports on all the children. Which of course made us very happy. The Benefields are trying to claim visitation rights after having Bella Peace for the weekend. We will see what we can work out. :)
On Tuesday, we had yearly pictures taken of all the children at Target. I cannot wait to get the pictures back in two weeks!!! I have lots of pictures of the kiddos around the house. But, I especially like to replace the frames on our wall in the living room with a new picture each year. Wednesday I spent a good part of the day preparing for our upcoming school year. And today, I spent most of the time preparing to go out of town again and playing catch up with my Bible study. Time is flying by!
And yes, we are leaving town again. We are going to visit family that we haven't gotten the chance to see in a while and are looking forward to celebrating Independence Day on Saturday. May it be a safe and fun holiday weekend all! I also pray that that we would remember that this holiday is about more than cook-outs and fireworks. Well, I'm off to bed!
Love,
Jennifer
These results have caused me to ponder this: Ok, there's something wrong within me. But, regardless of that fact, God is in control and decided to call these babies home. He could have just as easily allow the babies to live, but choose (for reasons we don't fully understand) to take them. The fact that apparently there's something wrong with me really has nothing to do with it, but yet it does. Confusing? Yes. But I at the same time I get it. I think. I was talking about this with Wesley and after the end of a long series of these type statements and questions, he said, "Yes. Yes, but don't try to understand it. God is in control. God is sovereign."
So why am I looking for answers? I guess, because that is what we do. We obviously want to know if there is anything we can do, and want to make wise future decisions. We also want to know for the sake of our current children. If what ever is happening to me is going to effect them one day, it would be nice to know that in advance. Ultimately, we may never know. And, there may be nothing to correct. Of course, there was nothing we could have corrected with Samuel, Isaiah, or Joshua. God numbered their days. They would be here if it had been His plan. It was not His plan.
I know that no matter what we ever find out or what we don't find out, whether or not we have more children is all in His hands. We are pursuing medical answers, but we ultimately trust that God is in control. We will take any information we learn and pray and seek His will regarding our future decisions. Having said that, I believe I may have a rare condition where the antibodies in my body attack a male child. I've done lots of research on my own. It only occurs in women whose first pregnancy is with a male child. I discussed this with my doctor. He says he also thinks it could be a possibly, but says it's out of his field. He has suggested we see a reproductive endocrinologist for further testing and has referred us to Dr. Andrew Harper, here in Huntsville. If anyone knows anything about this doctor, please email me and let me know. I like to know a little something about a doctor before going. We currently have an appointment set up on Aug 3rd.
I still find it so hard to believe that this is happening to me. It's don't think, "oh, why me". I just never expected something like this happen to me. My plan was to have lots and lots of babies with no problems. Does anyone ever see something like this coming? I know a couple of folks that are always convinced that they either have cancer, a brain tumor, or something, or that they are going to have it someday. I usually think of these folks as nut cases! I think that generally people are surprised to learn they have something wrong within their body. I'm pretty sure Jeff was shocked and surprised a few years ago to learn that he had cancer. I know that it took Matt and Heather by surprised to discover that they may never have a biological child. It has stunned us all to hear about Janie's recent possible diagnosis of "MS". Why are we surprised? I know personally I take so much for granted in life. I go around making my plans all the time, and I expect that it's all going to go according to my plan. Here I am, once again, striving and desiring to be able to say, "Not my will, but Your will be done, O Lord!"
I feel like I've done a lot of rambling on and on in this post. I guess I'm trying to sort out things in my own head and taking anyone reading this post along with me. I think I will move on to less serious stuff for now.
To recap our last week, Wesley and I really enjoyed our weekend away. Luke, Grace, and Mary Ruth stayed at home. First with a family friend who came to sit with them on Friday and later by their Aunt Heather and Glory who stayed the weekend. Since Bella Peace requires more attention, we decided to let her stay with other great friends, the Benefields. We received good reports on all the children. Which of course made us very happy. The Benefields are trying to claim visitation rights after having Bella Peace for the weekend. We will see what we can work out. :)
On Tuesday, we had yearly pictures taken of all the children at Target. I cannot wait to get the pictures back in two weeks!!! I have lots of pictures of the kiddos around the house. But, I especially like to replace the frames on our wall in the living room with a new picture each year. Wednesday I spent a good part of the day preparing for our upcoming school year. And today, I spent most of the time preparing to go out of town again and playing catch up with my Bible study. Time is flying by!
And yes, we are leaving town again. We are going to visit family that we haven't gotten the chance to see in a while and are looking forward to celebrating Independence Day on Saturday. May it be a safe and fun holiday weekend all! I also pray that that we would remember that this holiday is about more than cook-outs and fireworks. Well, I'm off to bed!
Love,
Jennifer
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)