Up and Anxious

I'm up praying for the Karrs and getting ready to head back out to the hospital in a bit. I feel pretty anxious about this day and what it holds. I'm trying to give that to the Lord and rest in knowing that He has a perfect plan for Janie Beth. He has a perfect plan for today, for the entire Karr family, for me. I'm feeling better already (until the next time that I have to give it over to Him)! Continue to follow the Karrs on their incredible faith journey at: http://michellekarr.blogspot.com

Janie Beth Karr

Calling all prayer warriors

I'm currently in the waiting room of Huntsville Hospital while a dear friend prepares to give birth to her baby who is not expected to live. Please join me in praying for her and her family. You can find out all the details and keep up with updates on her blog: http://michellekarr.blogspot.com

Please pray!

~Christmas 2009~

I've decided not to write too much about Christmas 2009. We had a couple bumps in the road, and things ended up getting a little bit crazy for us this year. Among those "bumps in the road" was the fact that Wesley and I both ended up getting sick. I don't think this Christmas is one I'm going to forget about anytime soon. I think I will just share a few of our pictures and let that be it.

Family Picture at Matt and Heather's house on Christmas Eve.


I was feeling pretty rough and didn't take many pictures at Matt and Heather's. At least this one has Heather, Oak, and Glory in it.


This one is of the kids opening a gift from Grandmother (my Mom) Christmas morning at her house.


The gift was a big hit. We went camping for the first time this past year and loved it!! However none of us had sleeping bags, so we had to pack a lot of stuff. The kids will be all set for our next trip. Of course, Bella Peace is a little small for one now, but she doesn't think so! And since she will really be ready for one before we know it, Mom went ahead and got her one to match.


Speaking of Bella Peace thinking she's so big, here she is examining a toy camera that Grandmother got her. She's probably thinking, "are you kidding me, what do they mean giving me a toy one when the bigger kids have real ones."


Now the kiddos are getting to do the giving rather than the receiving. The bigger kids contributed the money they had earned and saved to get gifts for others. Here they are giving Grandmother a pair of cute slippers. She recently got new tile and laminate flooring, and it's cold! Maybe these will help!


Luke has started making really silly faces in all his pictures. Check out his smile in this shot.


Further proof that Bella Peace is literally into everything!


Here's a few cute ones taken at my Uncle Chester and Aunt Sherry's house where we spent a good portion of the day celebrating.




After visiting at my aunt and uncle's house, we made it over to my Daddy's house to celebrate some more. My Daddy's was the final stop of the day. We enjoyed visiting with him very much, however our stay was short because we were starting to get a little bit tired.


I love these last two pictures!! Even after a long day, they posed and smiled for mommy just a couple more times. :-) They ended the day the same way they began it in these cute Christmas plaid pajamas. I LOVE the girl's gowns and Luke's pajamas!! We've totally been getting our money out of these, wearing them all the time!!! You might remember a picture a while back of Grace and Mary Ruth wearing their gowns. All three gowns came from different consignment or thrift stores. I paid $3 each for Grace and Mary Ruth's gown, and $2 for Bella Peace's. Unfortunately, Luke's cost a whopping $10. That was more than all three of there's combined. I guess that $18 for to match 4 children isn't too bad.


Sorry I'm getting a little side track with these captions, our 4 precious children standing still for a great picture in cute matching clothes that I got great deals on, oh I just couldn't resist. These are almost good enough to make me forget how crazy things ended up this Christmas.


I started off by saying I didn't think I would be forgetting about this Christmas anytime soon. Of course I was referring to the less glamorous details like the fact that Wesley and I both got sick. But as I look at these pictures, I'm already forgetting what went wrong. I guess that's one of the reasons I love to blog through this journey we are on. It helps me keep things into perspective a bit.

He has blessed me abundantly more than I could have ever imagined!!

I pray that you also, "may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen." Ephesians 3:18-21

A Gift in Your Honor

Recently Jennifer shared about changes we've made in some of our Christmas traditions. Another change is that this Christmas, in your honor, we have bought a SHEEP! Yes that’s right, a sheep. Instead of spending the money it usually takes us to send Christmas cards (which really starts to add up), we have used the money to purchase a sheep through World Vision to help a needy family care for their children. Not only will this gift help satisfy the physical needs of a family, but it will also meet spiritual needs by sharing the love of Christ Jesus. For more information about World Vision ministry, please go to www.worldvisiongifts.org

This is what World Vision says about a sheep:

“It is easy to see why sheep are among our most popular gifts. One healthy ewe gives highly nutritious milk for essential protein, vitamins and minerals, plus plenty of warm wool for cozy sweaters, socks, and blankets. It’s the perfect gift to celebrate the birth of Jesus – the Lamb of God.”

Here are some quotes from families who have received gifts from World Vision:
“My very own goat saved the family from hunger.” 11 year old fatherless boy in Zimbabwe.
“I nearly collapsed with joy.” Victoria, a widowed mother who received a cow.
“These chickens have completely changed my life.” A father of 7 in Darfur.

We know this is a little unusual but we hope you are blessed by this gift in your honor. This was Jennifer's idea, and I loved it!! We hope it will be as meaningful to you as it is to us. We want you all to know how much we appreciate all of you, our family and friends. You are so important to us. We love you so much! May you enjoy this season as we celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus.

Merry Christmas!
Wesley and Jennifer Minor

**Jennifer has written a Christmas letter that appears below this post. Scroll down a little further for lots of pictures from this year. We will be sharing other blessings, highlights, and more pictures from 2009 in a future post, so visit us again soon!**

Refiner's Fire ~ 2009 Christmas Letter

Each Christmas since having Luke, we have sent a Christmas letter reflecting on the past year in our lives. This year as Christmas drew near, I began to think about what I might say in a letter for 2009. Of course the big events came to mind first. It was easy to think about the year’s highlights. And I very much enjoyed strolling through the good times in my mind. In my mind I began preparing the usual letter filled with all the blessings (of which there have been many) and good times. I even started one on paper more than once. I decided to look back at the blog that I began this time last year. It was then that I realized I could not send the typical letter this year, because while we have been blessed and had so, so many good times filled with joy and laughter, the truth is this year has been a hard one for me. As I read through the year on my blog I found that over and over I wrote about how hard my day/week had been, and the truth is that I really didn’t even share the truly hard stuff.

It really all began at the start of the year. I’ve been praying for a long time for God to give me more of a passion for Him and His righteousness, for more of a hunger and thirst for Him and His word, and to have a deeper prayer life and relationship with Him. But it seemed to me as though that was not happening. As 2009 began, I was doing a lot of soul searching and questioning. I actually began to question God’s sovereignty. At the same time, Wesley and I were seeking to know His will in a couple of different areas. I felt confused and unsure and ended up quite frustrated. This continued through the first couple of months in 2009. Then in March, we learned that we were expecting another baby. I was a little anxious, but not really about the baby or pregnancy, more over how others would respond to the news. But mostly, I was thrilled! There are few things that bring more joy to me that the news of a new baby!!! I have to admit that juggling our household, 4 children, homeschool, various ministries, and being pregnant does not come easy, and often I was stressed and overwhelmed. Then on May 26, 2009, we gave birth and said good bye at the same time to Joshua Dailey Minor, our 7th child and 3rd loss. We did not see this coming, and I was shocked, devastated, crushed. If you add all these events and emotions together you can get a picture of my general state of mind. Summer flew by, and I packed our lives full enough to allow me to not deal with my feelings and emotions. I chose to escape them as long and I could and just stay busy. I was grieving, but it was really a lot more than that. I felt so frustrated with the Lord, confused, angry, discouraged, and very overwhelmed. All of this, and it was time to start school back. Let me just say that I love that we homeschool. I cannot imagine doing it any other way. Wesley and I both feel a calling to this. The kids really are doing well. But, it’s HARD ! People ask me all the time how we do it and honestly all I can say is it’s only by God’s grace and it’s just a little by little, minute by minute, hour by hour thing. Adding homeschool to a mother who is already fragile emotionally, can lead to a lot of tears. In the past few months, I have so often felt like quitting, giving up, running away. One day I was reading in Psalm 55 and was so encouraged to see that the Psalmist, David, had at one time felt the same way. “O that I had wings like a dove, for then I would I fly away, and be at rest. Lo, then would I wander far off and remain in the wilderness.” But later in that same Psalm, David speaks of the Lord saving him, hearing him, delivering him, and sustaining him. Recently things have really begun to improve. I am not “over it” for sure. I’m still having some hard days. But I finally feel as though I have gained some accurate perspective. One thing that I have realized is that these hard times are part of the answer to the prayers I mentioned earlier. Although initially I felt like I was growing further away from the Lord throughout this year, I am starting to see how these events are actually bringing me closer to that deeper relationship I’ve prayed for. I am starting to “get it”. I’ve keep referring to how hard things are, but part of the problem is that I am trying to control too much and do everything in my own strength. I’m focusing too much on myself and not enough on Him. I know that realizing this is a big step in the right direction. I’ve been so encouraged lately by several devotionals I’ve been reading. One in particular that seems to speak to me each and every day is, “Streams in the Desert” by L.B. Cowman. I could write pages and pages about how this devotion has touched me, but I will instead share one that I think sums up this year for me.

October 29 ~ He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver. Malachi 3:3

Our Father, who seeks to perfect His saints in holiness, knows the value of the refiner’s fire. It is with the most precious metals that the assayer takes the most pains, and subjects them to the hot fire, because such fires melt the metal, and only the molten mass releases its alloy or takes perfectly its new form in the mold. The old refiner never leaves his crucible, but sits down by it, lest there should be one excessive degree of heat to mar the metal. But as soon as he skims the surface the last of the dross, and sees his own face reflected, he puts out the fire. Arthur T. Pierson

Here’s part of a poem that went with that same day:

“…and the gold grew brighter and yet more bright, but our eyes were so dim with tears,
We saw but the fire-not the Master’s hand, and questioned with anxious fears.
Yet our gold shone out with a richer glow, as it mirrored a Form above,
That bent o’er the fire, tho’ unseen by us, with a look of ineffable love.
Can we think that it pleases His loving heart to cause us a moment’s pain?
Ah, no! but He saw through the present cross the bliss of eternal gain.
So He waited there with a watchful eye, with a love that is strong and sure,
And His gold did not suffer a bit more heat, than was needed to make it pure.”

I’ve been in the fire, but the Refiner has been at work. As 2009 draws near the end, I’m feeling encouraged and hopeful. I know my Refiner has been right by my side throughout this year. The fire has been hot! But it has been necessary to purify me. I’m looking forward to a “bright” 2010 and praying that I might reflect His glory!

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

Christmas Traditions

Today we had our family Christmas celebration. It has been an absolutely great day! This year we did a few things a little differently. Since we were first married, Wesley and I have tried hard to establish our own family traditions especially in regards to the holidays and even more so after having children. Last year, I shared how we spent Christmas away from home for the first time since having kids. That was a big difference from what we had done in the past and a big deal for us to change, but God really blessed us. At times I think we've let the idea that we were a family and needed to set and keep our traditions interfere with some blessings that might have been ours. I guess what I am saying is that at times we've been a little less than flexible, especially since the kids came along. I still think it is important to have family traditions. It is so important for a family to be close knit, to share a family bond, and to be united. Traditions help to that end. But I'm learning it's also important to be flexible. And more than anything else, it is important to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness in all that we do (even as we establish our traditions). One tradition we have been a little inflexible with in the past, was waking up in our own home to open gifts on Christmas morning. Some family would come to us, but everyone was not always able to do that. Last year we tried something different and were able to visit with a lot more family. We love it and realized it was so good to be with family, for us and for them. Because of that, we decided to make adjustments to this year as well.

This year, we plan to make the rounds! We started at home today, but we plan on getting around to visit a lot of family over the next week. Since we don't "do Santa", it was easy to make today the day we exchanged gifts as a family at home. For fun and to avoid the "is today the day" questions, we did not tell the kids that we were doing this until today! They were very happy to discover that Christmas was coming early! Another thing that made today extra special is that we had special guests join us. We have recently adopted and been adopted by a wonderful couple from our church who were never able to have children. They have become the Huntsville grandparents to our children. As God impressed upon our hearts to invite and include them in our family celebration, I cried. I feel so honored to be able to share our lives with this special couple. Later when I actually called "Mrs. M" to invite them, she cried. The plan was to go to church, have lunch, do gifts, and then do some other fun activities. "Mr. and Mrs. M" offered to take us all out to lunch and we gladly accepted. We all went to Ruby Tuesday's. It was so great! They got there before us and had a table ready and waiting on us. Then they were such a great help with the kiddos during lunch! We don't eat out very much and when we do, it doesn't usually go so smoothly. After lunch we came home and enjoyed a short devotion before beginning to open gifts. God has been doing so much in my life lately, and this led to another teary moment for me. We tried to keep gift giving simple and not over indulge the kids with too much stuff. Hopefully we succeeded. It was fun for us all. The kids really loved the gifts they did get. Later on this evening, we made hot chocolate, changed all the kids into PJ's, loaded up in the van, and went to the Galaxy of Lights at the Botanical Gardens (another gift from "Mr. and Mrs. M"). The kids especially loved it!!!! At bedtime, Grace said it was one of her favorite things about today. Such a fun day!

As we've been evaluating our traditions and making Christmas plans for this year, we have been asking ourselves how the Lord would have us celebrate Christmas. Even among Christians and in our churches, it is so easy to get side track and lose our focus as we celebrate Christmas. So we've asked ourselves, "How does God want us to celebrate? How are we suppose to worship Him during Christmas? How can we glorify Him at Christmas time?" Even in the midst of asking myself these questions, I've found myself guilty of stressing over the perfect gift. It's so easy to lose our focus especially because of the way our modern culture celebrates. Isn't that exactly what Satan wants? He wants us to spend so much time online looking for the best gift at the best price that we fail to have time alone with the Lord. (That would be me.) He wants us to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the busy stores and overlook the needs of people all around us. (Uh, me again.) I'm not pointing a finger here. I stand guilty myself. As Christians we do a lot of good at Christmas time. We make a special effort to point out that Jesus is the reason for the season. We are involved in a lot of programs in our churches. We decorate our homes with nativities. But, to me it feels like the "the world" now owns this holiday. Are we so side track that we are actually losing the season? We say Jesus is the reason for the season, but is that true? How did we ever come to the point of all this shopping, gift giving, decorating, etc., etc.? Do we actually glorify Him in all this? Oh, forgive me if I am stepping on any toes here. That is not my intention. Even as I type, God is revealing how distracted I've allowed myself to become. It isn't about the gifts, the tree, the perfect picture for the perfect card attached with a letter about how perfectly our life is going. These are all temporal things.

The main thing God has reminded me of as I've pondered these questions is that we are to worship Him in spirit and in truth. There is so much that is untrue in our practices and traditions. For example, I would be quick to tell you the Christmas story if you asked me about what Christmas was all about. But the truth is that in my heart at times, all the other stuff (gifts, tree, decorating, even the food!) is my focus. Also I know that probably everyone reading this already knows this, but I was so shocked to learn just a few short years ago that the wise men did not take gifts to Baby Jesus in the stable. Jesus was probably 2 or 3 years old by the time the wise men showed up. Scripture says they visited the young child in His house. I could hardly believe that when I learn it! Really it's only been about 4-6 years ago since I learned that, even though I have been a Christian for years. It's easy to see how I went so long not knowing that. Almost every Christmas story or nativity depicts it that way. Why do we tolerate this untruth? I've heard it said, well it's just convenient to share it all together, it's a short cut, there's really no harm. I disagree with the no harm bit. You see if we accept little untruths here and there (and this is just my opinion), I think it opens the door for more little untruths and weakens our relationship with Him. Remember he said, "in spirit and in truth." It's also been just a short while ago since I learned that Jesus was not actually born on December 25. That day is not even close to the actual time He was really born. From what I've learned, it appears He was more likely born in much warmer months, I think it was possibly August. I did not refer to my notes on that one, so I may be off. I know you are probably wondering where I'm going with all this, no where really. Just sharing my thoughts. I've just found this so interesting this year.

I shared a couple little changes, but overall our practices this year haven't really changed much from previous years. We are still just trying hard to seek Him first, to focus on Him, and to focus on others. I admit that often times the past few weeks what I have actually sought was the best deal online, and my focus has been what I'm getting my children for Christmas which I don't think quite fits the focus on others part. I am grateful that God is helping me to see some of these things that I think I have previously not given much thought to. We've been blessed by the little strides and changes we've made. As I type this I just realized that the change in opening up gifts in our home on Christmas morning led to us having the privilege of spending today with "Mr. and Mrs. M". Had we held on tight to "our" old way, we would have missed this blessing and others that I believe are in store for us this week as we spend time with loved ones! Thank you, Lord! I pray that throughout this week, you might use us to be a blessing to others and that we might glorify You, Father!

One last change I'll share with you about this year is that we will not be sending out our traditionally Christmas card/picture and letter. That's part of the little surprise I've mentioned in previous posts. Wesley and I have committed to wrap up (pun intended) that surprise here on our blog tomorrow. But I will go ahead and let you in on part of the secret. We have each been reflecting on this past year and plan to share individual letters on this blog. There's a special reason we are doing it here and not mailing it out. Lord willing, all the details will be posted here by tomorrow evening! My letter will be more about what God has been doing in my life this past year, the true story.

I may have been a little all over the place in this post, but my point is that God has been gently reminding and teaching us some "truths" this Christmas. It's my prayer that you will be encouraged to seek out new truths he wants to reveal to you as well. I pray that as you do so, you will be blessed and that you will be a blessing to others.

Finally as I close, let me introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Mathis, affectionately referred to as "Mr. and Mrs. M".



And here are a few other pictures from the day. While Christmas should not be only about gifts, I do believe it's OK to give gifts within reason. After all, our Heavenly Father gives good gifts to His children. Hope you enjoy the smiles below!

All the kids got new toothbrushes. These toothbrushes light up for 1 minute to show you how long you are suppose to brush. They were a big hit and cost less than $1 each!!!


Here's Luke with all his favorites!


Mary Ruth and I got new socks that we both loved!!!


Mary Ruth and her new girl doll. It isn't an "American Girl Doll", but she doesn't know the difference. She and Grace had been wanting a girl doll, not a baby doll. I was able to get them each one that matched their eye color, hair color, and hair style.


Grace and her new girl doll. They loved these so much!


All the kiddos are crowded around to see their Daddy open the new watch they bought him with their own money! They were so proud!!


The next two are of Bella Peace getting her favorite gift, a real big girl Bible. She wants to be just like her big sisters!!




Here's a group shot taken with a tripod. Some of us are starting to look a little bit tired in this one!!


We had a full, fun filled good day and made some great memories!

Doctor's Appt Details

Sorry it's so late. Wesley and I got home just a few minutes ago!!! After my doctor appt, we went to dinner, and then we did a little shopping. Before I share the details of today's appt, I just want to say that today I was thinking about something I wrote last night. I said something about how I should be taking care of a newborn and not getting ready for an appt with a specialist. Well, that's not really true. That may be what I would like, that may have been my plan, but that's not God's plan. Obviously it never was. I've said over and over how I desire His will and not my own. I can truly say at this moment, I know His ways are better even if I don't understand. I would not really chose to have Joshua here with us if that meant being out of God's will. There are just moments of weakness when I want my own way. What I should be doing is enjoying the life God has blessed me with and making the most of He has given to me and finding ways to glorify Him in my current circumstances. This is what we all should be doing. I've got a whole 'nother post coming about that sometime soon! :-)

OK, so on with the news. The appointment went very well. My doctor was very pleasant and thorough. The short and long of it is that we will probably never know for sure why we have lost three baby boys. And there's probably nothing to do to prevent anything from happening in the future. Dr. Harper does not think it has anything at all to do with male babies. He gave a lot of information to support his opinion. Basically he said that late, reoccurring miscarriages are one life's big mysteries. There are 6 areas to look at with me and Wesley and we have already tested 5 of these areas. Just to be sure, he is planning to repeat a couple of things and then test the 6 (very unlikely to be a problem) area. I'm not trying to be vague, just trying to keep it short for tonight. I will share more later. He also said the he thinks we have a very odds for delivering a healthy baby in the future. He said there is no medical evidence to suggest we should not try again or that we should even wait to try again. :-) Music to my ears! I just love knowing this door is not closed!!!! However it does bring about a lot of questions and decisions for us to pray about.

The next step as I mentioned earlier is to retest a few things and also test one more area. I should have all this stuff done in about a month. Most of it involves lab work and I will just have blood drawn, but I will also have a mild little in house procedure done. It should not be a big deal at all. One thing we will be checking into that I am a little concerned about is making sure that our insurance will cover this testing at 100%. Our budget just can't take one more thing right now, so hopefully that will be the case and all will be fully covered. Today's visit was just a consultation and did not cost much out of pocket.

My main fear today was that he would say something dreadful that would threaten the chances of us having future biological children. I just don't feel ready to have that door closed. And, at this point I don't necessarily think that is what God is telling us either. In summary everything he said was promising except for stating the obvious fact that based on our history we do have a slight increased risk for future losses. But he said that poses no physical threat to me and no pain to the baby. Of course this was just his preliminary thoughts that he expects to confirm through further testing. Interestingly enough, throughout this journey, I've never really expected that we would for sure find the answers. I'm at peace with that. I'm in good spirits. Hopeful. Wesley and I will continue to pray and seek His will. Even if God should shut the door, we will praise Him! Thanks for praying for us today!

Marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth full well! Psalm 139:14

He hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaish 55:8-9

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28