Whose in charge here?

I have several different post started, but I'm having a hard time finding time to finish them. I'm just wondering if it takes other people FOREVER to put into words what's on their minds and hearts? I LOVE blogging, but it takes me forever to post something. Anyone else that way?

So much is on my mind right now. I had somewhat of a light bulb moment a few minutes ago. I was feeling rather stressed and kind of stepped back to think about what was really bothering me. And then it occurred to me. I am such a control freak and a perfectionist!! OK I know most people reading this are thinking, yeah, duh, we know that. But it really, really hit me. I am constantly spinning my wheels trying to control everything. This has worked out for me OK for most of my life, but at this stage it's not working so well. As the kids get older and older, I cannot control everything. Everything cannot be my way all the time. I'm not always going to get what I want or have things done the way I think they should be done. This effects every part of my life.

At the moment it occurred to me, I was in Luke's room with him. I had asked him to clean it up, and he had cleaned it up. However, it wasn't as clean as I thought it should be. I was feeling very frustrated about this. I know it is important to teach the kids to be diligent, and most of the time they are pretty good at doing their chores. However a lot of times when I feel frustrated and think they aren't being diligent, it's possible that my standards/expectations for them are actually too high. Also I'm realizing that part of the problem is that I've spent years doing things for them so that it could be done my way. I can't keep doing that. For one thing, I can't keep up with everything. For another, it's not helping them to develop good character and a good work ethic.

I started thinking more and more about my tendencies to try to control everything, and I realized just how widespread this problem is. I've got to stop for myself and everyone around me!!! I'm always juggling a million things and don't want to drop anything. I always have so much on my mind because I'm always trying to figure something out, find the answer, the solution, make it perfect, etc. It even effects this blog. I ponder forever what I want to say so that it can be just perfect. Ugh!!!!

You know when you are controlling everything or trying to, that makes you responsible for the results. When I was with Luke in his room and feeling frustrated, I was also feeling responsible for his actions, feeling like I've failed to teach him to be diligent. The fact that his room was not perfectly clean is not necessarily an indication that I've failed. Luke belongs to God. I am responsible to the Lord to do my best to teach him, but ultimately as he grows up I am not responsible for the decisions he makes.

Yesterday morning Brother Jimmy's sermon was on realizing that, God owns everything. Everything is His!! Everything!! He referenced Psalm 24:1, "The earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell within." I really pray that this year, I start to get this message. It's time that I let go and let God be God. Let Him be in control. I mean it's all His anyway, right?