Prayer Countdown, Lessons, and Fun Family Night

Today I had a couple moments where I felt almost overcome with emotion, both good and not so good. Fear is trying to creep in. Ever since losing my first baby boy, I have these times when I'm pregnant where I imagine and plan out my response should something go wrong again. I don't do it often, and it usually starts rolling around in my head before I realize it. Today that happened. I imagined what I would do, say, how I would respond if something went wrong, if Elizabeth dead during or soon after birth. I found myself trying to decide if I wanted company or if I wanted to be left alone. Things like that. Then my thoughts turned into what if something were to happen to one of my other children. As much as it has hurt/still hurts to have lost three babies, I think losing a child that I have had the pleasure of getting to know would be even harder. Then I started thinking about what if something happened to me. I started thinking about how much I want to live, how much I want to do, how I want to see my children grown, how I want to grow old and share grandchildren with Wesley, how I want to know that all my family members are going to be with me in Heaven one day.

In the Bible, Paul speaks of how being absent from the body is to be in the presence of Jesus and of how to die is to gain. I know that this absolutely must be true, but let I find that I cling to the things in this world. I want to be here. It's interesting, because it seems that everywhere I turn this past week I hear a message on Martha and Mary. As my thoughts were running away in my mind today, they were interrupted by the fact that in this way too I am like Martha. Lately I have been painfully aware of how much of a Martha I have been with my massive to do list. I realized that I find myself clinging to my life here on Earth instead of imagining how awesome eternity in Heaven with Jesus is going to be. Something else that has struck me is how my motives behind the to do list aren't what they should be either. At least with Martha as far as we know, she was toiling, worrying, fussing out of a desire to serve. I find that my labor is more out of my desire to look good for family and friends who will be visiting after Elizabeth is born. I do have some good motives too, but if I'm being honest the real reason is pride. Not such a pretty picture, my Friends!

I'm thankful that because of the recent lessons on Martha and Mary, I'm at least more aware of it. The Holy Spirit is at work, and I clearly recognize His prompting in me to relax and take time to enjoy and appreciate the Lord and the great blessing He has bestowed on me once again!! It's still a struggle, but I'm grateful that He's working on me. I have to add that last Sunday when I walked into church and realized what the sermon was going to be on I thought, "OH, NO!!! I remember also saying in my head to the Lord, "OK, Lord this is a low blow. I don't need this right now. I still have to get this list done!!" I looked at Wesley during the sermon and he looked at me and we both just smiled the biggest smile. We actually had at a "tiff" last week about the to do list. He said pretty much all the same things that Bro. Greg said in the sermon, he just didn't add the scripture references. Ha!

I'm trying harder to enjoy these last days of pregnancy, after all I'm not promised another pregnancy. I'm trying to enjoy the last days of being a family of 6. To enjoy the fact that I have more time to devote to the 4 awesome children I already have. Having a newborn will demand a lot, I need to enjoy these last days. To just enjoy and appreciate my blessings in general. To be grateful. To be content. I need to get over my pride and focus on what really matters.

So I started by mentioning that I had some moments where I was practically overcome with emotion, both good and bad. Now for the good. Although I did have a moment where I let my fears run wild in my head, after the Holy Spirit got my attention I took those thoughts captive. I thanked God that no matter what He has a good and perfect plan for me and each of my family members. I allowed myself to dream of the sweetness of the miracle that I will meet very soon. I asked the Lord to continue to complete the good work that He has began in my life. To grow me. To help me deal with my pride and discontentment. I imagined how much sweeter Heaven will be. I prayed that I would be His servant, that I would glorify Him, that I would be the wife and mother He has called me to be, and that I would not waste so much precious time worrying over things that really don't matter.

Today was good. Busy, but in a good way. The kiddos and I didn't just rush out the door. We had our devotion and prayer time before leaving for the field trip. (BTW, we actually went on 2 super good field trips to the newspaper and the news station!) We typically have a devotion and prayer each day, but today was different b/c of where my heart was as I led them. We came home and spent time napping instead of toiling. Then we had a awesome family night. It wasn't planned. It just sort of happened! Don't you think sometimes those are the best!!!

We received several restaurant gift certificates last year at Christmas time mostly from parents of Wesley's athletes. (Boy am I going to miss that this year now that he's in a different position!) We've had just one left for quite a while. I've been saving if for just the right occasion. So with that and a great coupon I downloaded, tonight was the night to cash in! We enjoyed what I consider could be somewhat of a "last supper" as a family of 6, then we redeemed some free bowling coupons that I've also had all summer long and took the kids bowling for the 1st time ever!! It was so much fun!!! Everyone was all smiles!! I hugged, kissed, and cheered on my hubby and babies all night long! Wesley could have bowled all night. He's pretty good too! Luke did quite well for his fist time. Grace was so funny and awkward. She has a blast trying, but oh my is her name ever fitting. "Grace". Enough said! Poor girl is just like her Mommy!!! Mary Ruth had a blast and smiled all night long! She was kind of in the middle of Luke and Grace in her skill set. Less awkward, but still needed a lot of help. It was so fun to watch and enjoy their reactions! And Bella Peace. There aren't words. She was so keyed up. There is nothing she won't do or try to do. N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!! She loved that her feet would slide around so easily. She also demanded to hold and throw her own bowling ball. We of course demanded otherwise! Fun, fun!

Now for my countdown prayer request:

In addition to safety and good health for me and Elizabeth during childbirth and after, I'm praying for the spiritual health of me and Elizabeth. I asking the Lord to continue to grow me into the woman God wants me to be, and that I will allow Him to have His way in me. I want to be a Godly wife and mother. I want to teach the children what really matters - to love God and to love others. I'm praying that Elizabeth will grow to know and love the Lord, and that she will not grow up with a spirit of rebellion or unbelief. I'm praying that she will be a calm, content baby and grow to have a meek and quiet spirit. Thanks again for praying with me!! Now here's some pictures to make you smile! Enjoy!!

Seriously, don't you just love bowling shoes!! So cute!


Daddy showing 'em how it's done! STRIKE!!!


Did I mention, he LOVED it as much as the kiddos did!


Luke getting schooled


Giving it a try...


Oh, yeah! Good thing he takes after his Daddy!


I can't help but smile! Look at her leg!!! I think Wesley may have just saved her from falling. Too bad, she gets her coordination from me!!


Making progress, getting better!


So cute!! Trying so hard to get it just right!!


All smiles!


Oh, my!!!


Her words, "I doed it, myself, Daddy!"


Fun times!! "Can we do this again, sometime? Pleeeeease?!!!"