Do I really believe?

All day today, I felt like there was something significant to this date. October 28, 2009. I knew it was not a birthday or anniversary. I knew it was not one of the dates for any of our miscarriages, although there is one coming later this week. I just could not pinpoint what it was. Then just a few minutes ago as I was enjoying this beautiful weather and the changing colors outside, I remembered. October 28, 2006. It was a day a lot like today, three years ago when my faith was first truly tested.

It was a Saturday, and our family in conjunction with our church held a block party in the cul-de-sac that we live in. I stood before a group of people and shared my testimony of God's goodness and faithfulness in my life. I had no idea that in just a few hours everything that I had just said would be tested. The next day was Sunday. I remember feeling concern about my pregnancy throughout the day as we went about activities at church. Nothing was happening, I just had this nagging feeling. I even shared my concern with others and ask for prayer. Later that night, I ended up starting to spot some, and we went to the hospital. Soon after, a doctor would confirmed one of my greatest fears. By this time it was after midnight on Sunday night/Monday morning, October 29, 2006. Our 4th child, Samuel Thomas Minor was not longer living inside of me.

I had had struggles in my life before, but this was the first big test of my faith. It was no coincidence that this would occur so soon after I stood before an audience of family, friends, and neighbors and shared about God's hand on my life. It was time to find out if I really believed what I said I believed. Did I really believe in God's love and faithfulness? I can say today that I do believe what I said 3 years ago on October 28, 2006. My faith was challenged and is still being challenged. Sometimes I have felt strong and confident. Other times I have felt weak and unsure. It has been and continues at times to be a difficult road. Sometimes it's hard to look back and see growth, but I know it's there and it continues. And I know it will continue, because...

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

The picture at the top is from May of this year while I was pregnant with Joshua.

The truth is...

Sunday after church, I took some pictures while we were all looking good. I have people comment or ask me regularly how I get good pictures of my children. The truth is, I take a whole bunch! I feel lucky to get one good one out of ten. For the most part, the kids like getting their picture made or at least they don't usually resist. :-) Truth is they mostly do it for me, because they know I love it and it makes me so happy to get some good ones! But, it really is so hard to get everyone looking in the same direction, smiling, eyes open, etc. all at the same time. Bella Peace is especially hard at this age, because she always tries to run off. Actually most of the time, she is trying to run to me to look at the picture on the camera. They learn quick, don't they! Here are some of the ones I thought turned out pretty good.






Luke thought he was done and started to play, but of course I had to stop him and seize the moment for this cute pic!


Grace really likes having her picture made (most of the time) and offered to pose for this one.


I included this one simply because I thought it was a pretty good picture of myself. Most days, I can be found at home with no make-up, hair in a ponytail, and dressed super casual. That is if I actually had a chance to shower and get dressed at all. So when I get a good one of myself, I like to show it off. Vanity, I know. :-)


While I am telling truths here, let me just tell the truth about this little cutie pie.


She is absolutely IN TO EVERYTHING!!!! I cannot turn my head for a single second without her getting into something she should not. Recently she has started using crayons, ON THINGS SHE SHOULD NOT! This has not happened to me in my nearly 7 years of motherhood. None of my other children have ever written on anything except what I permitted them to write on. But, Bella Peace has managed to do this about 4 times in 2 weeks! I think the problem is that there were never crayons, pencils, pens, etc. out and available when the other kids were small. The other kiddos use these things a lot more now that they are older. We all think we are doing a good job of putting things beyond her access, but she manages to find and get into them anyway. This is just one little example of the things this girl is up to lately. She may look like the sweetest most innocent thing you've ever seen, but truth be told her little mind is always plotting her next move.

Another funny truth is that like I shared earlier, we don't always look as good at home as we do all dolled up in our Sunday best. And the kids don't always participate in having their picture made. Check out this example.


Unless we have plans away from home, the kids usually pick their own clothes and dress themselves. This is Mary Ruth's outfit today. I cannot help but smile when she comes out of her room from getting dressed sometimes. She also fixed her own hair today with some help from Grace. You cannot get a good look at it in this picture, but she has several ponytails and a hair bow. So cute, even if she did not smile for the camera!!!!

Speaking of her hair, Mary Ruth decided this week that she wants to let her bangs grow out so that she can have hair like Grace. She asked me to fix her hair with no bangs. :) I explained that I could pull her bangs back, but that we would have to let them grow out if she really did not want bangs at all. Here are a couple of pictures with her bangs pulled back. She loved it!


I think she looks older without her bangs and am not so ready to give them up. Her Daddy agrees and says he doesn't think he's going to let her do it! She and Grace are wearing matching Christmas nightgowns. Both gowns are used and came from Kid's Kloset. I bought one last year and one this year. I don't think I paid more than $3 for either. Gotta love deals like that! They've already started wearing them. I say, why not?

The truth is, real life is not always as pretty as a picture. Some days are hard. Some days are really, really hard. But, I know as I look at these pictures I'm gonna miss all this one day! And that's the truth!

Happy Birthday Mary Ruth and Wesley

We've celebrated a couple of birthdays in the past couple weeks in the Minor household. Mary Ruth turned 4 years old on October 9th and Wesley turned 38 years old on October 17th. We 1st had a small family celebration at home on the 9th for Mary Ruth. Wesley and I gave her a big girl bike. She looks so cute and proud on it! She's getting so big!


Then, we went to Tuscaloosa for the weekend and celebrated with family. Of course, Mary Ruth loved all the attention! We have so much fun with family in Tuscaloosa. My mom and dad are both from big families so it when everyone is together, it always seems like a party.



We like to take a family picture on each person's birthday. Here we all are holding up 4 fingers in honor of Mary Ruth's 4th birthday. Mary Ruth is wearing some new clothes she got for her birthday and a pair of Strawberry Shortcake glasses. Precious!


This is Mary Ruth with Grandmother (my mom).

We were barely over our sugar high when Wesley's birthday rolled around the next weekend. We celebrated his last Saturday in between him working in the morning and going to a WBCS reunion in the afternoon. Wesley loves cheesecake (who doesn't!), so instead of a traditional cake we had cheesecake! It was the best cheesecake I've ever had in my life!!! We actually bought it about 2 months ago. Costco had it on demo, and we got a sample and loved it. They said it was on sale and it would freeze well, so we got one. It was advertised as a $45 cheesecake on sale for $15. We had a hard time believing it was really that expensive at regular price, but later I check out the website on the box and sure enough it sells for $50 online. It sure tasted like a $50 cheesecake!!! I hope Costco puts it on sale again soon! Here's a picture of Wesley being silly. Notice the kids are holding up their fingers like we did in Mary Ruth's picture :)


And here's a couple of pictures of the two guys I love most in this world! Luke adores his Daddy and tries to be just like him in every way, everyday. He especially loves to dress just like Daddy. I just love it!



I've mentioned that I have had hard times off and on the past few of months. What I haven't mentioned is that Wesley has been so good to me through it all. He is such Godly man, a wonderful husband, and terrific daddy. I'm so grateful and blessed to have him. I love you, Wesley!

Encouragement From a Stranger

Isn't it amazing how our world is so big but yet so small? Shortly after my last post, God provided encouragement in a most unlikely way. I've been following a blog of a young woman who lives in Uganda and has become a mother to 14 orphaned children. Her blog is on my sidebar. It's the one titled, "On Earth as it is in Heaven." Well her story is amazing and challenges me. The other day I decided to comment on her blog for the first time. A few days ago, someone who had read my comment on her blog contacted me by email. We started corresponding and today very soon after having my small breakdown, I received another email from her. She had been catching up on my blog and discovered that we both live in Alabama. That may not seem like a big deal unless you consider the fact that we met through the blog of a person who lives in Uganda. In our next email we learned that she and her husband currently live in the same county where I was born and raised! Turns out that is where her husband was born and raised as well!!! It's very likely that our paths have crossed over the years. We are making amazing connections!!!

The thing that I love the most is this...I haven't shared it here before, but I believe that God has international adoption in our future. So many things seem to keep pointing in that direction, and I really believe that it is God who is leading us in that direction. I don't think this is just me trying to ease my pain after having lost three babies. Wesley and I have committed to wait one year from Joshua's birth before making any decisions about the future of our family to give ourselves time to heal physically, emotionally, spiritually, and so that we can be still and listen to what God wants for us. While waiting, both of us have developed a burden to adopt a "waiting child". I heard that term for the first time several months ago, and it broke my heart. (I'll save that for another post.) Back to how this connects to my new friend, she and her husband are currently in the process of adopting two children for Ethiopia. Coincidence? Hum, I think not. And would it surprise anyone out there to know that Ethiopia is a country that has been mentioned to us before???? or that we've consider adopting two children at one time?????

The timing of all this today leads me to think that God is giving me just a little glimpse of how he plans to bless us in the future. Of course, we will continue to seek Him. Regardless, I'm so grateful to Him for how He blessed me today. He provided me with sweet encouragement from a someone who was a stranger just a few hours ago. Simply amazing!

It still hurts...

The kids are napping and I thought I would try to get a couple of things done around the house. I am going to be doing a little shopping tomorrow and decided to evaluate my real needs. I was in my closet and realized my maternity clothes are still hanging in there. Our closet is not very large so I usually pack them up when not in use. I began taking them out, removing the hangers, and folding them. Then I picked up the skirt that I was wearing when I went to the hospital to deliver Joshua. It felt like someone hit me in the stomach. Seeing that skirt reminded me of my pregnant belly that carried Joshua. I wore that skirt the last time I held my Joshua. Then I wore it home from the hospital knowing I would never see him again this side of heaven. I began to scan the other maternity clothes and it seems every item carried with it a memory, a memory that broke my heart all over again. Needless to say, I am feeling rather sad right now. I should be unpacking and hanging newborn clothes right about now. Joshua was due in early November. I know that God has a good plan for all of this, but it still really, really hurts.

Please Lord, redeem all my pain and heartache for your glory.

Come, Thou Fount

I love this hymn. I found these lyrics online. There are a couple of stanzas here that are not in my hymn book. I love it even more with these additional stanzas. I've been down today, but these words have really spoken to me tonight. I'm going to bed more at peace now. Hope you enjoy.

"Come, Thou Fount"

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I’ll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

Pigtails and Wedding Veils

We had fun around the Minor household today. It rained most all day, but after school was finished for the day we had a good time playing indoors. Here are a few highlights...

First, I fixed Bella Peace's hair in pigtails for the first time today. Isn't she cute? Yes, she is brushing her teeth while sitting in a rocking chair in the living room. Isn't that where your 1 year old brushes her teeth?


Later in the day, Grace and Mary Ruth took turns marrying Luke. They got a fitted sheet out to be the pretend veil. The picture of Mary Ruth is blurry because she was really moving down the aisle.



Mary Ruth's shirt has been a favorite around here. It belonged to Grace first. It says, "He's not just my Daddy, He's my hero." Of course, Daddy loves it!! You would think that it was freezing outside the way these children are dressed. We've pulled out fall clothes, and they are all about wearing new things and old favorites. I typically let them chose their clothes if we are just going to be at home all day.

Here are a couple other cute pics from our day. Enjoy...

Bella Peace learning to wear heals!


Today was Mary Ruth's turn to be the helper of the day which includes getting to check the mail. Here she is with her umbrella that Grandmother gave her for her birthday last year.



Not a lot of pictures of Luke in here, and you can bet he will notice! I will have to devote a post to him in the next few days!

Just Hangin' Out

Yesterday on the way to church, we past by a house that had two deer standing in the front yard. They were beautiful. It was a momma deer and her baby deer. The baby deer still had it's spots. We all just went, "WOW!" Later in the day, Mary Ruth was talking to my mom on the phone and telling her about the deer. The way she described the scene was so cute!!! This is what she said...

"Hey, Granmudder (grandmother), guess what we saw on the way to chuuuch (church) dis mornin'. We saw two deers. Fur real!!!! A momma deer and a baby deer. Day (They) were just hangin' out in somebodies front yod (yard)."

I don't know about you, but I've never thought of deer just hanging out! It was so funny to hear her say this is her sweet little 3 almost 4 year old voice. I can't believe how fast she is growing up. She will turn 4 years old this coming Friday!

I'm posting a couple of cute recent pictures of her.



I love you, Mary Ruth!!!

I'm back...

Wow! It's been a while since I've been here. I'm glad to be back. The last post I wrote was in late July. I mentioned that I had had some bad days, but I felt like I was doing better. Unfortunately, I sank a lot lower before final starting to climb back out of the pit this past week. I really want to write about it all. Hopefully I will, but the reality is I may not. It's hard to find the time. I will summarize the back 2 months by saying, they've been really hard.

BUT, I believe there will be beauty for these ashes.

Have you ever had a verse speak so deeply to where you are at right now in life? There have been several times in my life where a verse or a passage just seemed to shout out to me. That's happened recently. This verse first came to be by way of a precious new friend who shared it as the verse for the season of life she is currently in right now. It seems to just keep popping up everywhere else since she first shared it. I've taken it as my own favorite verse for this season of my life. I'll end with this verse tonight.

He hath made everything beautiful in His time. Ecclesiastes 3:11